26 July 2021 – I Need Jesus, or I Need Whiskey. This line is one of my very favorite song lyrics ever. It’s from the Tim McGraw song “Neon Church.” The first time I heard it, I connected with it completely. Not because I always turn to Jesus as I should or to whiskey like I want, but because the sentiment is one I have definitely felt on many occasions. There are so many moments in life when I feel overwhelmed and confused, moments when there are no answers, moments when the emotions are too raw or too many, and even times when it is too quiet. I am currently in one of those moments.

I am full of emotions, and I can’t get a grasp on them. I am an organized person, and I like to compartmentalize my emotions and deal with them in an orderly manner. I have not been able to do that lately. The emotions are just coming too quickly. I think this is why I can’t organize them or deal with them. I’ve tried both Jesus and Whiskey and Tequila with no luck. Fortunately, despite all of these emotions, I am smiling because I know that everything will eventually settle down. After all, it always does.

I thought writing in my journal each day would help me manage my thoughts and my emotions, but I think I need to try something else because writing just seems to intensify them. I might need to travel to the middle of nowhere and shout them from the mountain top, or I scream into a pillow or just speak them all. Maybe some more Jesus and whiskey and tequila.