11 April 2021 – Today, I was reminded of one strange phenomenon I have only ever seen in Florida. They may exist elsewhere, but I haven’t experienced them. Since the first time I saw them about 30 years ago, I have called them “keep going lanes.” To explain the best I can, say you have 3 lanes of traffic traveling north on the road. The light will turn red for two of the lanes, but the other two lanes stay green and keep going. These “keep going lanes” allow the traffic to continue to flow while still allowing for traffic to turn onto or off of the right of way as necessary. If I haven’t explained it well, that’s okay; I am positive I have explained it well enough that you will understand my story. I never understood these “keep going lanes” when I first experienced them 30 years ago, or any of the ten plus times I have visited Florida since. They always seemed so dangerous and ill-conceived. Why did anyone think they were a good idea?

Today the “keep going lanes” hit me differently. I still find them dangerous, but maybe I understand them a little better. As I look at my life, I have always stayed in my lane. I have stopped at the first sign of danger. I have slowed if there was even a hint of the need for caution. I have not and would never have considered using the “keep going lanes” in my life. Life was always black and white, red and green if we want to keep with the analogy. I couldn’t just keep going when the opportunity presented itself, I had to do the prudent thing and stop. Even when driving in Florida, I have always chosen not to use those lanes – until today.

My life is still governed by the law of physics and my morality, but it is no longer as cautious and strict as it once was. Today if I feel like working from the beach, I do it. When I want to eat the entire bag of cookies, I do. I just walk 5 miles after. If I want to take off to Florida for two weeks, then I go. When driving cross-country to Colorado pumped on caffeine, I drive straight through. Each of these examples is things I would never have considered doing before. Not because I thought they were wrong, I just didn’t think they were right for me. So, what changed?

The honest answer is that I do not know. I think this is part of my journey, finding out what has changed. I do know that my aging body and my own mortality factor into it. So does the fact that I know first hand that we are not promised anything more than this moment. If we knew how much time we had, we would spend it differently. I know that I do not want to live one more second sitting at a red light when there is a nice green one in the other lane. I also don’t want to be stressed or miserable when I can be happy and at ease. I want to eat the whole bag of frosted animal cookies even if I need to exercise a little bit more. I don’t want to wait to do one more thing that I can do today.

I plan to use the “keep going lanes” in my life and I don’t plan to stop until I get wherever I am going.