18 June 2021 – Tomorrow I am leaving on my next adventure to feed my soul. As I was finishing all of my household tasks and packing today I was thinking about what I want out of my adventures. Why am I really doing all of this? When I made the decision to change my life I came up with “Write, Pray, Ninja” but sometimes I forget to embrace what I really mean by it. I am writing and I am praying but I keep forgetting the ninja part. To me being a ninja means taking on the world and meeting it face to face. Starting now, this will be my focus. The following things are what reminded me to be a ninja and what feeds her.

On Thursday I had lunch with three friends. These people are three of the best. They have supported me in all of my choices and been there for me when I question my actions. When I want to quit being the person I want to be they remind me that I am already that person and I just need to take care of her. It is a true blessing to know that there are people in my corner, people who care about me and what I do. I can only hope that I will be there for them when they need me. These three feed my soul when I am with them and even when I am not. I will carry their love and support with me on every adventure because I know that it makes me smile – they make me smile.

“Despite what you may believe, you can disappoint people and still be good enough. You can make mistakes and still be capable and talented. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love. Everyone has disappointed someone they care about. Everyone messes up, lets people down, and makes mistakes. Not because we’re inadequate or fundamentally inept, but because we’re imperfect and fundamentally human. Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for failure.”

- Daniell Koepke

When I read things like the quote on the left I realize that I am not the only one who feels unworthy and fake. It doesn’t make me feel any better though. Instead I feel like I should never feel this way again because I need to take care of others who are feeling this way. However, I know this is unhealthy. I need to be honest about how I feel and what I need. I must stay connected to what is going on in my head and know that it is not reality. I must find more ways to feed my soul so that I can do more good and find happiness. These adventures are my opportunity to find myself and learn to love her.

I don’t have to be perfect. My entire life I have felt that I have to do everything and be the best at everything. Like so many people I have cared too much about what others think and not enough about what I feel. My happiness is entirely up to me and I must focus on that. The happier I am the more I can give. By feeding my soul I will have more to give. Just like food works for my body giving me nourishment and energy if I do what makes me happy I will be better equipped to make my world a better place and that is all I really want.