13 September 2021 – Having friends is difficult, it forces you to stretch yourself and put yourself out there. To have a friend, you need to be a friend. To make a connection with someone means that you have to make yourself vulnerable. It is hard to be vulnerable. Making yourself vulnerable means making yourself capable of emotional pain. This is probably one of the hardest things we ever do. Although I am very protective of how I let others affect my emotions, I don’t have an issue sharing my feelings. I willingly share details about myself, my life, and how things have hurt me.

Part of it probably goes back to my last post and the fact that I don’t reach out as I should. I need to be more available and less standoffish. I need to ask the hard questions rather than assuming my friends just don’t want to talk to me. I am bad about asking my friends anything because I am sure I am bothering them. I need to reach out more often and more sincerely. As vulnerable as I am with my emotions, I am not vulnerable at all when it comes to putting myself out there. I am always afraid to insert myself because what if I am rejected, what if I am not wanted. I need to remember that friendship is worth it. If a friend doesn’t want to share, they will tell me and I can just be there when they want me to be. Friendships are hard but I know they are worth it.