24 April 2021 – My current daily devotional is a book called “100 Days to Brave” by Annie Downs. Each day is centered around a specific Bible verse and a different way to work toward being your most courageous self. The book has been beneficial in various parts of my life. Today is day 58, so I have further to go – then I will start over because I will never be brave enough in most parts of my life. Yesterday’s reading was centered on 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 and was about holding on to hope. Today’s reading was centered on Isaiah 43:18-19 and was about letting go. These two days really spoke to me and where I am in my life.

Hope can be light, but it can also be extremely heavy. How long do you hold onto hope before you let go? How do you know when it’s time to let go?

Holding on can hurt – it can hurt a lot. I held on that Dave would beat cancer until the very end. It hurt so badly when he was gone because I hadn’t adequately prepared. God allowed me time to prepare, but I didn’t use it. Dave used it, and he was prepared. In his last few days, he was at peace and ready to meet God. He met with his friend from church about his service. He talked to his dad about seeing Jesus. He used his time to prepare. I just continued to hold onto hope. I wasted the opportunity to let go little by little. I held on too long.

What else have I hoped for and held onto for too long? There have been many! When I was a young girl, I used to hope and pray that my parents would get along. I prayed daily for God to change their hearts, but they just kept yelling at each other and slamming doors. At one point, I told God that if he couldn’t change their hearts, then maybe they should just get divorced. I would hold onto hope for years and years, and I am glad I did. God was listening. It just took him a long time to change their hearts. Once my parents heard God, everything changed. The last 25 years have been incredible. I have seen true love and kindness between them. They are a great example of love. I am glad I held on.

When I was in high school, I was like many other teenagers. I longed for a certain guy to notice me and like me. I held onto hope for four years that this guy would see me as more than his science lab partner. It was completely ridiculous. He was a football player and absolutely the cutest guy I had ever met in real life. He had a long-term gorgeous cheerleader girlfriend. I had several boyfriends during those years too. He and I got along great, we studied together, and we shared confidences. I held on to this fantasy for too long. Fortunately, the only hurt I ever suffered was due to teasing from my friends.

I stayed at a job too long because I hoped it would get better despite all the signs to the contrary. I continued to hold onto hope that I could change things. I held on too long. It tore me down and caused me issues. I felt both emotional and physical pain to the point that I was sure I had bigger issues. I saw several specialists before I realized that my only illness was my job. It was pain that I could have avoided if I had just let go.

Hope can be light – like when you are hoping your team will win or that it won’t rain or that you sleep well or that no one ate the last piece of cake. Other times, hope is heavy and even important. Only you know how long you should hold onto hope and pray for things to get better. God tells us when it’s time to let go of hope – we just have to listen. He gives us signs, He talks to us, and He even smacks us around. We just have to pay attention! God may speak to our heart through words, through people He puts in our life, through sorrow, through pain and even through sunshine. We just need to pay attention.

Throughout my life, I have allowed myself to hold onto hope too long because I have missed the signs, ignored the signs and wasn’t listening. Other times I was ready to let go, but I could hear God telling me to wait just a little longer. I am glad for all of these things. They have sculpted me and changed my heart. I will listen for God, and I am going to be more intentional with my hopes and prayers. I know that God will show me whether to hold on or let go. I just need to have faith that He knows better than me. My greatest prayer is that those I love will also listen to God about when to hold on and when to let go.