2 May 2021 – I have been lucky enough to learn many things from other people. It’s amazing the lessons you can learn from others if you just pay attention. The lessons I have learned from women have been full of things I didn’t know I even needed at the time. The following are just some of the great women and the incredible knowledge I was able to glean.

My mom was and is the most incredible volunteer I have ever known. My mom volunteered for everything – she worked with family services, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, church, our schools and now with Warm Hearts, Warm Babies. She made sure anything my siblings or I were doing had enough volunteers. She worked more hours per day than any person I knew. My mom is and always has been a career volunteer. One of my greatest memories was going to “work” with my mom at family services at Rhein-Main Air Force Base in Germany. It was so fun helping her out. She was my first Sunday school teacher, and she was my Girl Scout leader most of the time. As a Girl Scout leader, she encouraged me to earn my Gold Award, the highest honor in GS. At our schools, she was the go-to volunteer. She did it all. My mom taught me to be there for my kids no matter what. So I was. Doing things to support my girls can not be replaced. I am so glad my mom taught me that lesson.

Carolyn was my mother-in-law. She loved me and cared for me before I even knew my husband. When I was a freshman in high school, she was president of the band parents. I met her after I marched in a band half-time show. I had some terrible back issues, and she rubbed my back until I could sit comfortably. She did this at a few subsequent games and competitions as well. After Dave and I dated for a very short three months, she encouraged him to always be nice to me. When Dave and I got back together in 1991, it was because she told him to be nice to me. I called her house to talk to Dave while he was there to visit. I heard her say to him, “It’s Theresa for you, be nice!” She showed me that you should be nice to everyone because you never know what will come out of it.

LS and SS are my husband’s favorite aunt (LS) and favorite cousin (SS). From the moment I met them, they were also my favorite. They are truly the kindest women I have ever known. From day one, they treated me like I was family. Whenever they see me, they have the biggest smiles and the warmest hugs. They treat Meg and Shel like they are their own. After my mother-in-law died, LS became like a mother-in-law to me. She would send care packages and call just to say hi. SS and I became cousins. We enjoy family Thanksgiving at LS’s house with SS and her family. They have taught us all so much about what a family should look like and can be. Most importantly, LS and SS have taught me how to make a perfect mother-daughter relationship. Their relationship became an example to me when my girls were young, and thanks to them and their example, Meg and Shel and I have the most incredible mother-daughter relationship. This is a lesson I can never repay.

JS hired me for my first job out of college. She took a chance on me because I knew nothing, and she felt she could teach me something, and she did. Her husband had died, and she raised her young daughter by herself. At the same time, she was “raising” strong women at work. She was a lifetime civil servant with the National Weather Service who had worked her way up in a male-dominated world. Her goal was to do her job the best she could while also encouraging and giving opportunities to other women. JS taught me that everyone has secret skills to be tapped and deserves opportunities. Because she had to fight so hard during her career, she rubbed some people, especially men, wrongly. Although she treated her employees extremely well, she wasn’t always so gentle with others. JS argued and fought for what she wanted, and she took things personally when she met resistance. Her behavior made her many enemies. The biggest lesson she taught me may not have been the one she intended, but she showed me how NOT to treat colleagues.

RC is a Ph.D. physicist with no ego and pure kindness in her heart. When I started working at NASA, I met many Ph.D.s. I am not sure how they are in other places, but at NASA, they seem to think they walk on water. When I met RC, she and I became instant friends. Being two of the only women in the building, we stuck together. RC taught me how to be assertive without any aggression. Exactly the opposite of what I had experienced at my last job. She was so caring and empathetic toward all of our colleagues. She made sure that birthdays were celebrated, holiday parties happened, and office morale was good. RC showed me how to nurture coworkers and make their workday more pleasurable. RC was really supportive of Dave and me when he got sick. He wasn’t eating much, but he liked her cookies. She provided me frozen cookie dough so I could bake them for him whenever he wanted them. After Dave died, she made sure I was taken care of, including hiring a maid to give my house a deep clean. She taught me about good friendship.

HE also worked with me at NASA. She had just moved to our branch and building and she gave off the “cool” vibe. HE reminded me of all of the popular kids in school. She was pretty and fit. She wore edgy, fashionable clothes and she had tattoos. She was just plain cool. I would see her on the weekends too because our girls played in the same field hockey league on Saturdays. Even though she and RC became friends, I automatically did that prejudging thing, and I stayed far away from her because I was sure we would never be friends. She would never like uncool me. One day she knocked on my office door and said something like, “I thought I should say hi because we see each other all of the time. We should be friends.” I smiled a guilty smile. After getting to know her for a few weeks, I finally told her that I had assumed she was a “mean girl.” We had a good laugh, and we became really great friends. HE taught me the true meaning of not prejudging people. I can’t imagine all of the wonderful things I would have missed out on if we hadn’t been friends.

LG is a woman I met at church. Once upon a time, she taught 3rd grade Sunday school and had both of my girls. I would also see her at the church service. Guess what, we never talked. She always talked to people and smiled so brightly, but I was sure it wasn’t meant for me. Fast forward about twelve years. We started attending an adult Sunday school class, and she was in there. Again, I never talked to her. About two years before Dave got sick, we stopped going to church and Sunday school altogether. (That’s a story for another time.) After Dave died, I was invited by a woman to a Bible study, and LG was there. It was a small study, only eight women. LG and I became friends so quickly it was like we had always known each other. One day, she invited me to meet her for a Saturday lunch. When we parted that day, she said, “I will see you at church tomorrow at 8:30. I sit in the back pew and I will save you a seat.” I hadn’t been to church in over two years, but she didn’t give me a chance to say anything. We started meeting for church and Sunday school every week. We would get together during the week to study the Bible or drink wine. We’d go to the movies or have dinner. She was exactly the friend I needed. God put her in my life at the perfect time. LG has saved my life more times than I can count. She has taught me what a real friend is. Despite my terrible friend qualities – I don’t text or call, and I never plan anything – she has shown me what it means to be a good friend. Now I just need to be one.

LC was a surprise friend. She was a colleague when I went to work for the Air Force. She and I didn’t work together, but we were in the same office. LC and I are both extremely introverted, but we both care about other people and the connection. When the COVID-19 isolation began, she and I were two of the only people still in the office each day. We commiserated about work and coworkers. When you don’t have many people to talk to, you start to spend more time with those around you. She and I became close quickly. I was always in awe of the respect and work ethic she had for everyone. She was a quiet but significant influence on the workplace. Much like RC, she made it a point to make work better for others. She always says good morning to everyone when she comes into the office. As time went on, I was promoted, and I began working for LC. What an incredible experience. Together, she and I were able to make a huge impact on our division. She was so incredibly supportive of the growth and change I needed to make. Despite the hardship it was going to place on her, she encouraged me to take on my next adventure. I will always be so indebted to her for the support she showed me through my soul-searching. She taught me I could and should do anything I want. The inspiration she gave me is immeasurable – she taught me to dream.

PP has inspired me to be better at my job and a better person while being kind yet assertive. She was the big boss when I worked for the Air Force. PP is amazing, kind-hearted and unassuming, but she can walk in and take command of a room. She truly cares when she asks you how you are and she wants what is best for you. Since I met her, I have said that I want to be PP when I grow up. I could go on and on about her, but it would sound like I was making it up. The truth is that I can’t put it into words, she has me in awe. That is a lesson right there. I can only hope someone ever thinks of me like that.

CH is an extraordinary woman. She is my sister’s sister-in-law, my sister is married to CH’s brother. When my sister became part of CH’s family, she also made us part of her family. She has invited us to all family gatherings. CH is an artist, and she has really served as an inspiration to Shelby. She has encouraged Shelby to be all she can be and continues to encourage her every day. I am so thankful for that. For years, CH told me that she really wished I would come work for her because I had certain skills that could really help her company. I always laughed it off because CH is such an amazing, driven, powerful, successful woman; why would she need me. When I decided to change my life and quit my government job and take care of myself, she hired me. She really did want me. The greatest lesson she has taught me is to meet people where they are and encourage them to follow their dreams while doing all I can to help them out.

I have so thankful for these lessons from women. I hope that someday at least one person will have learned a lesson from me.