9 July 2021 – In 1803, Meriweather Lewis and William Clark set out on an expedition to explore and map the newly acquired land known as the Louisiana Purchase. They basically followed the Missouri River and attempted to get to the Pacific Ocean to develop new trade roots. When they got to the source of the Missouri River and realized it didn’t go all the way to the Pacific, they continued west to find the Columbia River and eventually ended up at the Pacific Ocean. Last night I stayed in Astoria, Oregon, at the mouth of the Columbia River and now my journey will take me east back to where Lewis and Clark started their journey in St. Louis.

It’s amazing that at the point I joined Lewis and Clark, I have also found what I was looking for. This journey over the last six months has been an opportunity for me to remember who I am and to get back to the source of what drives me. I’ve been searching for joy and happiness; I’ve been searching for what makes me happy and what brings me joy; I’ve been working out how to have more days filled with joy and how to bring happiness to others. My current life is completely different than anything I ever expected. Like Lewis and Clark, I got to the end of the river without reaching my destination. I’ve been searching for the path to the next river to get me to my destination.

The following are the findings of my expedition to date:

• Happiness is easy to find. Every day I experience many things that make me happy. A good morning text, a favorite song or tv show, a beautiful view, a sweet cuddle with Shelby’s puppy, a perfect Coke, a comfortable bed, a friend’s laugh, a good meal, crossing something off my to do list, Reese’s peanut butter cups, tequila, friends, other people’s happiness, Meghan and Shelby, my parents, poetry, a good book, memories. The list of things that can make me happy is infinite.
• Happiness is fleeting. It lasts for moments, days but not forever. Happiness is not continuous. An event or a situation can make you happy but that happiness doesn’t last because other events and situations always interfere with your happiness. The things that interfere with my happiness are headaches, bloating, work issues, other people’s issues, being too hot or too cold, dealing with horrible people, traffic, melted chocolate, flat soda, loneliness, lack of physical contact, lack of love, etc. The list of things that can interrupt my happiness is long, probably infinite.
• If we rely on happiness, we will never find eternal happiness because so many things can interfere with it. Joy is what we must find. Joy can be eternal, because it takes a real trauma to interfere with it. The trauma could be death, divorce or separation, loss or pain. But the little things that interfere with our happiness don’t interfere with our joy unless we let it. We can have bad days without having a bad life.
• Being left alone and losing what I thought was my future interrupted my joy to the point that I could not find it and I wasn’t sure I ever would.
• My search for joy has led me to my heart. I must create a new future for myself and dream some new dreams. As I journey east and eventually back to Virginia, like Lewis and Clark, I hope to find my new river and my path to discovery.