9 September 2021 – My life is a headache, and it has been for as long as I can remember. I don’t know what age I was when I started getting headaches, but I do know that when I was fourteen, they got to be so bad that I started missing school for them. Sometimes these headaches were tension headaches, and sometimes they were full-blown migraines, but they were always debilitating. I couldn’t figure out what was causing them, and they were affecting everything from my schoolwork to afterschool and social activities.

My mom took me to the doctor, and the doctor treated me like I was crazy. He asked me about my daily activities, what I ate and drank, and how I slept. After reviewing everything, he decided I must have a sensitivity to peanut butter. The truth was I ate a lot of peanut butter. It was and still is my favorite food. I followed his advice and gave up peanut butter for a period of time, but it did nothing to help the headaches. I didn’t think it would. More visits to the doctor proved fruitless, and I eventually gave up on expecting anything to change.

Eventually, the headaches took over my life. Sometimes it would get so bad that the pain seemed to take over my entire body. There were times in marching band that I could not participate because my back and my body were in so much pain. These pains continued for years, sometimes they were headaches, and sometimes they were full-body pains, but they were always present. I eventually learned how to avoid specific triggers, but most headaches and pains didn’t have triggers. They just consumed me. I basically lived on painkillers, Coke and chocolate. Once I learned to tolerate the pain, I was able to mostly enjoy my life.

Becoming an adult didn’t really make anything easier. The headaches actually got worse, and eventually, the body pains got worse. Fortunately, the doctors and the painkillers got better. Unfortunately, some of the painkillers started messing with my liver, some of them started making me sick, and some just stopped working. I had to start relying on my own remedy, chocolate and Coke. Most of the time it was enough to knock the edge off. My kids and Dave always knew that I would be over the discomfort at about 8pm every day, and I would get grumpy. I tried hard not to let the pain affect my mood, but sometimes it would. Eventually, I learned how to separate my pain and my mood. It made everyone happier.

The past couple of days I have had a terrible headache that just won’t quit. It’s the worst one I have had in a very long time. It reminded me that I don’t spend enough time enjoying the days I have that aren’t this bad. I am thankful that my body and mind have learned to deal with the pain in such a way that I can enjoy my life. Despite the pain and the many headaches, my life has been and continues to be good. My life is a headache but it is filled with sunshine and yellow roses, Coke, chocolate and peanut butter.