22 June 2021 – Today, I said to my dad, “Guess who Tony Stewart is engaged to!” He asked, “Why is he engaged?” I said, “What do you mean?” and he answered, “He’s old. Why get engaged now?” I looked at my dad and said, “Tony and I are exactly the same age. Are you saying my life is over and I should just give up?” He tried to pull it back, but it was too late. Yes, I am getting older. I am in my middle age, but I am not old. I still have almost half of my life left, and I definitely have most of my living left to do.

I went most of my life working hard so one day I could enjoy life. Dumb. Now I am living my life. That is ALL I am doing. Yes, I have a job, but that job is strictly to support my life. The money I bring in pays my bills so I can keep living. That is it. I am not working to be the best that ever was. I am not working to be noticed or praised, or rewarded. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy my work. But that’s because I enjoy being productive and doing things for other people. If I didn’t need to pay my bills, I would still do it for free. The difference is it is just a job, and it has nothing to do with the person I am.

I am almost 50 years old. So far this year, in 2021, I have done many new things that I never even considered doing before. I have learned to paddleboard. I have driven across the country by myself twice. I quit my job for no other reason than I did not want to do it anymore. I have read over 100 books and listened to another 12. I got rid of about 80% of my clothes and 99% of other stuff. I’ve even taken up meditative prayer, and for someone who doesn’t sit still very well and doesn’t believe in prayer, that has been quite a challenge.

What’s next? On Thursday, I leave Mom and Dad’s house to find out. I have already made reservations for many new things. I am going on a hot air balloon ride, solo white water rafting and parasailing. I am going to try a hot springs spa and a sculpting class, and a helicopter ride. I am also staying the night in one of the haunted rooms on the 4th floor of The Stanley Hotel. Who knows what else I will do? I guess we will find out together.