I woke on Saturday morning around 6 am, and I laid beside Dave in the bed and held his hand while he slept. He seemed peaceful. Shortly after 8 am, Dave woke and couldn’t breathe. Following the instructions the hospice nurse had given me the night before, I gave him droppers full of the correct medicines to help him out. Unfortunately, the medicine wasn’t working. I ran upstairs to wake the girls because I wasn’t sure he would live much longer. When I got back downstairs, he held my hand and smiled. A moment later, he was dead. I wish I had known the night before that it would be his last.

When the doctor had sent Dave home a few days earlier (Wednesday) in hospice care, we were hoping for lots of time together, but we knew that we’d only get so much. Dave’s faith was so strong that he was ready to go anytime. He actually pissed me off because he was so at peace with dying. He had been since he got sick. Dave was at the point that he seemed to only care about what was good for him, and he seemed not to care what was good for me. I am sure that is simplifying it, but it sure felt like that. But I am very thankful that he was not scared of death, and he was at peace with it.

Those eight months of his illness had one good thing – quality time. We were so blessed to be given the opportunity to be intentional in showing our love to one another. We had many movie nights and long conversations about the universe and anything and everything. We shared more family dinners than we had in years. We got to see Meghan and Shelby a lot more than usual. Dave got to buy his dream car and start building it. We focused more on one another than on the world around us. This time was a blessing in that way.

As I get ready for bed tonight, I beg you to tell those you love how you feel to share hugs, bad jokes, and laughter. I ask you not to wait for a diagnosis or a sign. Please do it now. Our time on this earth is limited, and we never know when it will be too late. I am intentional about being sure Meghan and Shelby know how much their dad loved them, but I am more intentional about ensuring they know how much I love them. The most important thing I have learned and the most important thing I can say is, “STOP EVERYTHING and decide what is most important to you today, tomorrow and forever. Love with everything you have.” You never know when it will be the night before.