15 August 2021 – No one notices when the strong one is tired of being strong. I know this from experience. There have been many times in life where I was tired, and I didn’t feel like I could go one more day, and no one noticed. When people are used to you not needing help, they often don’t notice when you no longer have the strength to ask. Please, check on your strong friends and don’t hesitate to be there for them even when they don’t seem to need you. And for you, the strong ones, don’t be afraid to say the word, “Help.”

Meghan had an ulcerative colitis flare this week, but she continued to push through. She knows the drill, lots of fluids, no solid foods, and relaxation. Stress just makes it worse. I could tell she was in pain, but she assured me she was okay. Yesterday, she sent a text that made me realize that maybe that wasn’t true. I immediately called her and knew she needed to go to the emergency room, and she needed me to go to her. Meg was hesitant to go to the emergency room for several reasons. Bobby was out of town, and she didn’t want to leave the dog. I told her I was on my way. She didn’t want to go to the emergency room and have to be by herself, especially if no one could come in with her. She was stressing herself out more. I begged her to go to the emergency room, and I got on the road. By the time I reached her, she had been in the emergency room for three hours, and she’d had fluids and medicine and was much better than she had been. Once she had asked for help, she was able to relax and take care of herself. The strong woman was at a breaking point, and she needed help.

Meghan is very much like me when it comes to work. She is willing and able to do it all, and she does. She works harder and faster and better than most people, but she doesn’t know when to slow down or push back. She has spent the last year allowing herself to get burned out. Meg realized she had reached that point and pushed back, but it was too late. She had internalized the stress, and her body was reacting. Stress is the number one activator of her colitis and she had activated it. Fortunately, she reacted quickly before she developed pancreatitis like she usually does. Maybe next time she will push back and take more time to relax before it has such terrible effects.

I am obviously not criticizing Meghan because I am more guilty of letting the stress get the better of me. I have had more issues over the years due to my inability to push back or say no or relax. The strong are afraid to admit weakness because we are afraid we will let others down. Watching Meghan in so much pain and distress has been a blatant reminder that I need to take care of myself. I need to learn to admit when I need help and I need to keep a better eye on those I love, especially the strong ones, so I can be there when needed. The strong should never have to struggle alone when we can help. The quote says, “The strongest are not those who show strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about.” I agree, but I aim to be by their side at all times just in case they need an arm to lean on or a gentle smile.