2 July 2021 – Today was interesting. I realized many things about the world I live in and who I am. I arrived in Las Vegas at 12:30 pm local time. I spent the next ten hours trying to immerse myself in everything around me. I had booked a room at the Venetian on the Strip. The room is the nicest I have ever stayed in. If it had a kitchen, I could live in it. It is the perfect size for everything I need: a very comfortable bed, a small living room with a small dining table and a desk. The bathroom was fabulous, with an open shower and tub, a built-in vanity, and a small television. I should have stayed in the room…but then I wouldn’t have been reminded of who I am.

When I left the room and went downstairs to the casino with all the shops and restaurants, I faced so many people. These people were from all walks of life. There were families, couples, groups of men and women. I saw people in shorts and t-shirts, and I saw those who were dressed for a night out. Some people were hurrying to the pool, others to the shops and many to the casino. I walked around everywhere and just took it all in. At around 3:30 pm, I headed to Downtown Las Vegas for the start of a food tour.

The food tour started at The Plaza Hotel. We visited a few restaurants on Fremont Street, and then we headed to the Strip and visited a few restaurants there. This is when my experience really started. I saw just about everything. I saw many women that only wore thongs and boots below the waist. Sometimes they wore fishnets but not usually. On top of these same women wore bikini tops or bustiers or pasties. Sometimes they only wore body paint on top. I saw some women dressed in red thongs with American flag pasties and Vegas painted on their buttocks. Every man I saw was dressed just as they are everywhere else I’ve ever been.

I have no issue with people living their life and doing it the way they want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else. So I don’t have any issue with how these women were dressed. I am actually jealous of the confidence and the laissez-faire attitude that they have. I have never had that kind of confidence. I don’t even have enough confidence to wear some of my everyday clothes.

This trip to Vegas taught me two big lessons. The first is that I probably won’t make another trip to Vegas unless it is for a special occasion and it is centered around someone and not about Las Vegas. The second is that I need to be a little more daring. We’ll see how that works out. In some ways, I am naive about the ways of the world, but mostly I have just decided that is not the way I will live my life. Since my middle school years, I have often been called a prude and no fun. I don’t think that’s true. I think I have just always been in touch with what I want my life to look like. I won’t ever be a woman who is confident in how she looks. I will never be a woman who will make the first move no matter how much I want to.